All hail

Over the past five minutes the sky got grey, rained, hailed, hailed harder, and then stopped all precipitation abruptly. The sun is now shining brightly.

The weird weather is affecting everyone. The kids have been off-the-hook crazy today. I am sort of feeling like a trainwreck myself.

While slogging through the last of the grades I encountered this 6th grader’s paper:

I dont like working in class at all.

"I don't like working in class at all."

It makes me sad because this is a passive kid who doesn’t have a lot of friends in the class, and who asked to sit by himself instead of at a table with others. I let him because I’ve heard the boys teasing him and I’m sure there’s far more that I don’t hear.

More from the “kicking, biting, hiting” 4th grader…

She was out of her seat and slouching around the class today, so I knew something was bothering her. I asked her what was wrong and she said she didn’t want to do the assignment. Then she came and asked “Ms. K, can I cut off my head?”

  • Me: “No… why would you want to do that? I like your head where it is right now!”
  • Her: “I don’t know.”
  • Me: “Why are you having a bad day today? What’s wrong?”
  • Her: “I always feel like that.”
  • Me: “Why?”
  • Her: “I don’t know.” More slouching around… more evasive answers to my questions. Then I was cleaning up at the end of class and she came up to me.
  • Me: “Are you still feeling bad?”
  • Her: “The reason I want to kill myself is because nobody cares about me.”
  • Me: “I care about you. I bet there are so many other people who care about you. What about your family? I think you should ask them.”
  • Her: “They’re not going to answer that!”

I told her that she should ask anyway, and that I cared about her enough for ten people. Then she went to math class and I went on to my next class. It makes me feel sad. Being a kid sucks sometimes. Being sad when you’re a kid sucks. Being sad always sucks. I have no idea what her home situation is like; I am going to talk to her homeroom teacher about it after school. I hope there are people who care about her and who let her know it. I do what I can but 45 minutes of a caring Spanish teacher is not always enough to get you through the day.

Sometimes having a small impact on hundreds of people is harder than having no impact on anyone.

And now it’s pouring out!

And now it’s not.


2 Responses to All hail

  1. chelsea says:

    you are making me seriously consider teaching. still. i wish you could come over. or i could come over. right now.

  2. annadefenestrated says:

    Wow. Teaching is really personal. You’re the adult that have the most influence on these kids- you might see them more than their parents. And these are their formative years…

    How different from being home schooled!

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